It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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