Me too!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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