Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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