He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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