dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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