Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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