So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
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Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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