I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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