she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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