I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize