There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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