none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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