Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
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Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
the raccoons are back...
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