You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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