I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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