just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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