spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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