I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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