If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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