I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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