You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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