You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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