break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize