i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
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i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
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Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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