you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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