Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
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why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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