At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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