there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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