If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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