my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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