If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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