Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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