she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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