if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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