i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize