I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize