There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
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I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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