I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
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It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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