so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
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He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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