i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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