I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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