I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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