On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This baby is an asshole
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize