Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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