I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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