Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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