she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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