I just threw up on my dentist
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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