I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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