I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize